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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Signed limited edition 150 gram vinyl of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my MUSICAL!*, Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man. Comes with custom Queensbill™ and souvenir letterpress ticket that's good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $15 USD

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A signed, limited edition CD of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my unreleased MUSICAL!* that comes with a custom Queensbill and souvenir ticket (good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**). Purchase comes with download. Only on sale for 24 hours for Bandcamp Friday.

    More info on the project:

    Inspired by the unsuccessful experimental Broadway shows of the 1970s, singer-songwriter-comedian Julian Velard has written a musical about his own life. A born Manhattanite living in Queens with a wife and a child, Velard has quit the music business for the stable world of musical theater. Joined by his co-writer and fellow dad Mark from the Park, Velard presents his disasterpiece in an attempt to face middle age with his dreams still on his shoulders and the realities of life around his neck.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 200  7 remaining

      $5 USD or more 

     

lyrics

Daddy’s trying to sleep
She’s pulling my hair
It’s five in the morning
I need coffee
And she needs Sesame Street

My Misses left me list
It reads like script
Written by Russians
A serious play
About the food our family eats

Zip up her coat
And pick up her blocks
Buckle her in
So I can put on her socks
Over an hour
To get her dressed and out the door

My daughter’s kicking and screaming
She’s pushing like never before
While I’m pushing a stroller
Around a grocery store

Off to the playground we go
To meet Mark and his son
Because it’s Monday
Mark’s got a similar life
And a similar wife

We sit and talk about the Knicks
While our kids kick a ball into puddles
We’d love to get tickets
A guy’s night out would be nice

Mark looks at his wrist
Then pulls out a list
Says, “I better hurry or Gail will be pissed
It’s getting late , she gets home about a quarter to four.”

Mark asks if I wanna go shopping
And I say, “Mark that’s what Mondays are for!”
So now I’m pushing a stroller
Around Mark’s Grocery Store

Come on, let's take a walk around the produce!

These days there’s not much I believe in
But there’s one thing that I know for sure
That when the misses gets home
I’ll be lying face down on the floor
She’ll ask me how the kid is
And I’ll say, “My lower back’s sore.”
Then she’ll open the fridge
And say, “Honey I forgot, we need one thing more.”
And I’ll be pushing a stroller
Around a grocery store

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Julian Velard Los Angeles, California

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
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