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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Signed limited edition 150 gram vinyl of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my MUSICAL!*, Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man. Comes with custom Queensbill™ and souvenir letterpress ticket that's good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $15 USD

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A signed, limited edition CD of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my unreleased MUSICAL!* that comes with a custom Queensbill and souvenir ticket (good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**). Purchase comes with download. Only on sale for 24 hours for Bandcamp Friday.

    More info on the project:

    Inspired by the unsuccessful experimental Broadway shows of the 1970s, singer-songwriter-comedian Julian Velard has written a musical about his own life. A born Manhattanite living in Queens with a wife and a child, Velard has quit the music business for the stable world of musical theater. Joined by his co-writer and fellow dad Mark from the Park, Velard presents his disasterpiece in an attempt to face middle age with his dreams still on his shoulders and the realities of life around his neck.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 200  7 remaining

      $5 USD or more 

     

lyrics

It’s 11 o’clock on a Wednesday
I’m badly in need of break
There’s a beautiful blonde singing next me
She’s making all kinds of mistakes

She says, “I heard this song once when I was 16,
And I’ve loved it my whole life long.
It’s my 21st birthday and I’m really drunk
And everyone will sing along

Oh no no no no no, Oh no no no no, oh no

Please don’t make me play Piano Man
Cause I’ve already played it 5 times tonight
I don’t expect you to understand
But my hands are too sore
and my heart is too tired
To put up a fight

Tom at the bar has his face in his phone
He never remembers my name
He pours the drinks while he clicks the links
Searching for fortune and fame

He says, “Buddy can you help me find someone online,
This pretty young thing I just met?
She’s a corporate lawyer from the Upper East Side.
Her dad’s worth a billion I bet."

Oh no no no no no, Oh no no no no, oh no

Bob is in some kind of retail
I think he sells second hand clothes
And he’s talking with Tim or maybe it’s Jim
They’ve all been at my last three shows

And the waitress is angry and miserable
While the Jersey boys jump up and down
They shout and they scream, they just do what they please
Cause this is their night on the town

Please don’t make me play Piano Man
Cause I’ve already played it 5 times tonight
I don’t expect you to understand
But my hands are too sore
and my heart is too tired
To put up a fight

I’d say the bar’s pretty empty
But it’s just your average Wednesday
Billy Joel’s rocking the Garden
And is this place is four blocks away

At 11:05 they come tumbling in
They fill up their drinks and I fill up with fear
Cause it cuts like a knife, I’ve sang it all my life
“Man, what am I doing here?”

Oh no no no no no, Oh no no no no, oh no

Please don’t make me play Piano Man
Cause I’ve already played it 5 times tonight
I don’t expect you to understand
But my hands are too sore
and my heart is too tired
To put up a fight

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Julian Velard Los Angeles, California

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
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