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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Signed limited edition 150 gram vinyl of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my MUSICAL!*, Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man. Comes with custom Queensbill™ and souvenir letterpress ticket that's good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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lyrics

MARK:
They call me Mark
Mark from the Park
They only know me as a dad
But before my kid I had
A certain spark

I wrote 5 shows
That no one knows
A one man musical of Jaws
That overcame the movie’s flaws
I played the shark

JULIAN:
When will the world stop being mean to us
And recognize our genius
I’ve been patient, lemme tell ya

MARK:
I can’t believe my face isn’t on a stamp

JULIAN:
I spent two decades suffering for my art

MARK:
I put my heart on every page
And watch it die up on the stage
The audience is always in the dark
I’m always Mark from the Park

They call me nuts
Think I’m a putz
All the moms make fun of me
Cause I keep my mornings free
I hate their guts

JULIAN:
I hate their guts

MARK:
Ugh, awful
I’m choosing words
And feeding birds
While my son just runs around
I keep him here at the playground
Until it shuts

JULIAN:
We should be winning Grammy and Tony awards
Instead of running for school boards
They made me treasurer, can you believe it?

MARK:
They tried to make me vaccinate my kid

JULIAN:
I’m nearly middle aged with no success

MARK:
I’m gonna die in 20 years
And then I’ll be praised by my peers
Make me martyr just like Joan of Arc
Instead of Mark from The Park

JULIAN:
They call him Mark

MARK:
They call me lots of things, the children give me names

JULIAN:
Mark from Park

MARK:
They won’t let me or my son play their stupid games

JULIAN:
They know only him as a dad
But before his kid he had
A certain spark

MARK:
I was the toast of Off-Off-Off-Broadway

JULIAN:
He wrote 5 shows

MARK:
You shoulda seen the amount of paper that it took

JULIAN:
That no one knows

MARK:
Nobody cares about the guy who wrote the book

JULIAN:
A one man musical of Jaws
That overcame the movie’s flaws
He played the shark

BOTH:
We came in second place, two silver schmucks
When you don’t come first, second sucks
We’ll never get the gold
So far away from hot, we’re freezing cold
I’m sure the world is full of guys like us

JULIAN:
We’re never gonna win the fight

MARK:
It doesn’t matter what we write

JULIAN:
I know each time I start a song

MARK:
I’ll get the ending wrong

JULIAN:
And the bite of it is meaner than the bark

MARK:
Like the shark

BOTH:
I give up
Call me Mark from the Park

credits

from Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording), released November 27, 2020

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Julian Velard Los Angeles, California

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another. ... more

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