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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Signed limited edition 150 gram vinyl of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my MUSICAL!*, Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man. Comes with custom Queensbill™ and souvenir letterpress ticket that's good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $15 USD

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A signed, limited edition CD of the Official Queens Cast Recording of my unreleased MUSICAL!* that comes with a custom Queensbill and souvenir ticket (good for admission to opening night on BROADWAY!**). Purchase comes with download. Only on sale for 24 hours for Bandcamp Friday.

    More info on the project:

    Inspired by the unsuccessful experimental Broadway shows of the 1970s, singer-songwriter-comedian Julian Velard has written a musical about his own life. A born Manhattanite living in Queens with a wife and a child, Velard has quit the music business for the stable world of musical theater. Joined by his co-writer and fellow dad Mark from the Park, Velard presents his disasterpiece in an attempt to face middle age with his dreams still on his shoulders and the realities of life around his neck.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man (Official Queens Cast Recording) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 200  7 remaining

      $5 USD or more 

     

lyrics

I can’t believe you're pregnant again
Didn’t think life could get better and then
God blessed us twice, Jesus Christ, Amen
I can’t believe you’re pregnant again

I’m not crying, these are tears of joy
Don’t matter to me if it’s a girl or a boy
The apartment’s a mess, nothing left to destroy
I can’t believe you’re pregnant again

Let’s spend it all on childcare
Till one of us becomes a millionaire
Maybe then we’ll have a couple more
Why stop at two when we can have four?

Just because we’re broke don’t mean I’m cheap
When you’re already drowning, it don’t matter how deep
At the end of the day, it’s only sleep
I can’t believe you’re pregnant again

Truth be told, I was good with one
Thought of my days of diapers were done
But married people can still have sex
And this is one of the side effects

I shouldn’t be surprised by the situation
A new child is cause for celebration
So here’s to you successfully tracking ovulation
And here’s to me finding my zen
I can’t believe you’re pregnant again

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Julian Velard Los Angeles, California

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
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