1. |
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Jenny came by just to say hi
And show the tattoo of my name on her thigh
Sheila's on the phone, she won't leave me alone
About the new position she wants to try
Pleasure always leads me to pain
Call me crazy, call me a lad insane
Oh my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight
Underneath the bedroom light
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night
Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight
Being alone never felt so right
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night, Saturday night
VIP list, give it a miss
I'm losing count of all the models I kiss
Dom Perignon don't last very long
When all the hangers-on are taking a sip
Pleasure always leads me to pain
Call me crazy, call me a lad insane
Oh, my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight
Underneath the bedroom light
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night
Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight
Being alone never felt so right
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night
Saturday night
When I think of all the lonely hearts out there
All the young dudes alone on a Saturday night
With a big stack of DVDs by the TV
Crying into the popcorn on the other side of midnight
My brothers, there are rocks in every ocean
And there are leaves on every track
And I have a dream that one day
You and me and all the dreamers in the world
We will start a band and we will never go back
Oh, my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight
Underneath the bedroom light
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night
Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight
Being alone never felt so right
Me and my mirror on a Saturday night, Saturday night
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2. |
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Working out, getting fit
Pretty soon I'm gonna quit
Smoking's bad for my health
Got a car, got some clothes
DVD's from HBO
All I need for myself
What's gonna happen when
It feels like love again for the first time, for the first time
I make my way back down the long line, such a long line
And it feels like love again for the first time
For the first time in a while
Walking out on the street
Every someone that I meet
Just another wreck in the road
Back and forth, slipping through
Use my secret ninja moves
Got to keep from getting close
What's gonna happen when
It feels like love again for the first time, for the first time
I make my way back down the long line, such a long line
And it feels like love again for the first time
For the first time in a while
It's been a while
Pitch the tent and pay the bills
Tiny matters matter till
The moon is full, the sun explodes
Then you're left all alone with
Photographs and laundromats
I swear I'm never going back
What, what's gonna happen when
What, you push the button and
What, what's gonna happen when
It feels like love again for the first time for the first time
I make my way back down the long line, such a long line
And it feels like love again for the first time
For the first time in a while
Feels like love again for the first time, for the first time
I make my way back down the long line, such a long line
And it feels like love again for the first time
Better be the last time for a while
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3. |
Sentimental
02:55
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Time has never been in love
He's just a no good hustler in the club
Who takes you home
Telling lies like any other guy
Time says what you wanna hear
He says he'll help you get ahead in your career
Time never healed my broken heart
And I should hate myself because I'm just a
Sentimental fool in love
Can't get to sleep cause I'm thinking about us
Makes no difference if it's wrong or it's right
I stay awake just in case you come home tonight
I should leave you in the past
Take a train or a plane something that goes really fast
And fly ahead to place on the right track
I should be selling stocks and selling bonds
I should be making deals, creating jobs for the poor
Doing good for mankind
Instead of being stuck way back in time
I'm just a sentimental fool in love
Can't get to sleep cause I'm thinking about us
Makes no difference if it's wrong or it's right
I stay awake just in case you come home tonight
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4. |
No Wrong
03:28
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I'm in trouble and I don't know why
A lifelong sentence for another crime
I never committed, I'll never admit it
I'm an innocent guy, yes I am
You got me sitting in your court in the sky
Judge and jury my lover with a list of exhibits
Couple of digits on the back of a matchbook
With no matches in it
I did no wrong, no wrong
No animals hurt in the making
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
No wrong, No wrong
No reason for me to be faking
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
Romance movies and a bottle of wine
Gets most girls through but for you
Something is missing
You'd rather sit and check alibis, yes you would
Where was I at a quarter to nine July 15th?
Lemme think
I was at Richard's, not at your sisters
Baby you're crazy with a criminal mind
I did no wrong, no wrong
No animals hurt in the making
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
No wrong, No wrong
No reason for me to be faking
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
Here in the moonlight glow
I see the long lost look in your eyes
I'm letting my feelings show
You gotta trust this love, you gotta let this go
I did no wrong, no wrong
No animals hurt in the making
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
No wrong, No wrong
No reason for me to be faking
But you keep singing along
It's the same old song
And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
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5. |
Fellow Americans
03:27
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It's lonely there, It's lonely there
I know I'm not supposed to care about
Breaking the rules, swimming in pools
But I can't get em' out of my mind
Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared
To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans
Everybody needs a little love some of the time
Rita was a singer in a band
Had about a half a dozen fans
She took a summer trip to LA
Now Rita a couple tattoos
A couple hundred thousand hits on Youtube
In the nude, she got a California senator screwed
It's lonely there, It's lonely there
I know I'm not supposed to care about
Hollywood News, Silicone Boobs
But I can't get em' out of my mind
Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared
To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans
Everybody needs a little love some of the time
Lemme tell you bout Bernie
See Bernie was a kid on the block
He went from plumbing to king of the stocks
A hard-working, honest, respectable, self-made family man
Now Bernie's kids are crying the tears
Cause Bernie's doing hundred and fifty years
With a bunk bed husband teaching him his first career
It's lonely there, It's lonely there
I know I'm not supposed to care about
Pimping the jewels, prison life rules
But I can't get em' out of my mind
Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared
To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans
Everybody needs a little love some of the time
Why are they so afraid, afraid we're gonna invade?
Don't they know Americans are all alone?
Why don't they understand we just wanna be friends
It's so obvious, don't they know
It's lonely there, It's lonely there
I know I'm not supposed to care about
Breaking the rules, swimming in pools
But I can't get em' out of my mind
Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared
To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans
Everybody needs a little love some of the time
It's lonely here, it's lonely there
It's lonely just about everywhere
For people like me and people like you
I can't get them out of my mind
Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared
To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans
Everybody needs a little love some of the time
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6. |
On To Something
02:40
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Love's not for everyone
Certainly not for me
I cry in my sleep
I bruise too easily
Whenever I see the flame
I'm afraid of getting burned
Standing too close again
I guess I'll never learn
But I think I'm on to something
When I look in your eyes
When I look in your eyes
Sometimes the lightning strikes
When you least expect it to
Sometimes the thing you need
Is right in front of you
A life lived in the past
Is no way to get it right
There's a chance that I'm wrong
I'm gonna take that chance tonight
Cause I think I'm on to something
When I look in your eyes
When I look in your eyes
I think I'm on to something
When I look in your eyes
What if I'm wrong and you leave with my heart
And you steal my dreams and it tears me apart
I'm on the side of the road, broken down again
I have to find my way back home again
Love's not for everyone
Certainly not for me
I cry in my sleep
I bruise too easily
But something has changed
I got nothing to fear
You can bring on the fire
As long as I got you here
My hands are trembling
My heart is in my mouth
I been so scared of love
Tell me what's it all about
Cause I think I'm on to something
When I look in your eyes
When I look in your eyes
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7. |
Soundtrack Of My Life
03:18
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I was sitting on top of the world
With my arm around a beautiful girl
We were flying with the windows rolled
We were listening to the Rolling Stones
I couldn't see a cloud in the sky
Couldn't see a single reason why
You would leave me on the side of the road
Broken down, living alone
Love should come with a warning on the side:
Will leave your heart frozen in time
No no nothing's changed
Song it always ends the same
It's the soundtrack of my life
I can't slow it down
I keep on hearing you saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
I was sitting on top of the world
Got my arm around a beautiful girl
Got the feeling that I've been here before
The kind of feeling I don't want anymore
Still flying with the windows rolled
Still listening to the Rolling Stones
I need to turn the music down
Stop your voice going round and round
Love should come with a warning on the side:
Will leave your heart frozen in time”
No no nothing's changed
The song it always ends the same
It's the soundtrack of my life
I can't slow it down
I keep on hearing you saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
On my heart I keep on trippin'
On the ice I keep on slippin'
On the time I'm reminiscing
On my heart I keep on trippin'
On the ice I keep on slippin'
On the time I'm reminiscing
When you were mine
Love should come with a warning on the side:
Will leave your heart frozen in time”
No no nothing's changed
The song it always ends the same
It's the soundtrack of my life
I can't slow it down
I keep on hearing you saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
You're saying goodbye
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8. |
The Guy Who...
03:16
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I remember when we were five
A couple of kids sitting side by side
On a picture perfect day on the way to school
Along came Brendon Jimmy James
With his golden hair and his angel face
He stole my brand new bike and my girlfriend too
He stole you too
All of the nights that I've spent alone
Am I the dog who doesn't get the bone?
Tell me what I gotta do
Gotta walk across the wire for you
Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth
Do pushups in the desert heat
Tame a lion, get black and blue
From boxing with a kangaroo
Still you never notice what it is I'm going through
How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you
How do I get to be with you
Midnight strikes and the line is long
For the monster movie marathon
When I get the guts to ask you to the prom
Thanks but no you say to me
Cause Captain Dan on the football team
Is so good-lookin and he's twice as strong
He's twice as strong
All of the days that I've dreamed of love
My time has come now, I've dreamed enough
Tell me what I gotta do
Gotta walk across the wire for you
Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth
Do pushups in the desert heat
Tame a lion, get black and blue
From boxing with a kangaroo
Still you never notice what it is I'm going through
How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you
How do I get to be with you
I can see us in the future
Girl in the picture
Where are you now?
Remember when you see me waving
It's not cause I'm waving
You're watching me drown
All of the nights that I've spent alone
Why can't you throw this dog a bone?
Tell me what I gotta do
Gotta walk across the wire for you
Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth
Do pushups in the desert heat
Tame a lion, get black and blue
From boxing with a kangaroo
Still you never notice what it is I'm going through
How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you
How do I get to be with you
Shoot myself into outer space
Lose the cops in a getaway chase
How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you
Save a baby in a burning fire
Be the man that you desire
How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you
How do I get to be with you
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9. |
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29 years is a long time I'd say
To have to make a living to find a better way
Opportunity knocks when it's the last thing you want
Nobody looks for love in a Chinese restaurant
Five foot seven and a smile like a beauty queen
From a movie scene
Madonna 1983 if you know what I mean
55 minutes and she lit a cigarette
Said a thing I'll never forget
Everybody wants to be famous
Live out their lives
In the heat of the sun
Be someone
You see a chance and you take it
Everybody can dance
Everybody can sing
Everybody can be
Famous like me
I'm done with monotony
Look where it's gotten me
Suit jacket and tie with a mortgage 20 feet high
I coulda been a painter, a Beethoven, a Mozart
Coulda been a contender instead of attending seminars
29 years and I still don't know what I want
Looking for love outside the same Chinese restaurant
I can still see her climb in the cab and out the rain
I can see her roll down the window to say
Everybody wants to be famous
Live out their lives
In the heat of the sun
Be someone
You see a chance and you take it
Everybody can dance
Everybody can sing
Everybody can be
Famous like me
High in the sky
House in the hills
Show me where to sign this time I will
I'm tired of waiting in line
Waiter bring me the bill
I want a piece of the action
I want a slice of the pie
I want a key to a city
And a girl with my name on her thigh
Why, why can't I have those things?
The things that fame brings
Even if it ends in 15 minutes
Everybody wants to be famous
Live out their lives
In the heat of the sun
Be someone
You see a chance and you take it
Everybody can dance
Everybody can sing
Everybody can be
Famous like me
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10. |
Still In Love
03:04
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Scared of a gentle breeze
Terrified I'm gonna sneeze
In my castle of sand
It slips through the hourglass
Sailing without a mast
I'm on a search for dry land
No I'm not through
You wanted the truth
I'm still in love, still in love with you
Looking back we came so close
A perfect pair almost
Guess we ran out of luck
The king of hearts doesn't make a hand
It takes the queen to make the man
There's still some life left in me
Well no I'm not through
I'm still in love with you
You wanted the truth
I'm still in love, still in love with you
I never fell this far before
Battered and bruised, face down on the floor
I've never seen my heart so black and blue
Seeing stars over you
But I'm still in love with you
No I'm not through
You wanted the truth
I'm still in love, still in love with you
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11. |
Take The Money And Run
03:18
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I didn't use to be this way
Was a good kid back in the day
Safe to say things have changed
Yeah I remember when
I brushed my teeth every night
Held my pretty little girlfriend tight
I didn't let the bedbugs bite
But that was so long ago
And now I've lived long enough to know
You take the money and run
Don't wait till the deal is done
I'm telling you son
Take the money and run
Step out the back
Shoot like a bullet from a gun
Boy don't be dumb
Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-money and run
You're asking me what I would do
With a cool one milli or two
Safe to say I pity the fool
Who does the right thing
And follows the voice in his heart
I wish I was told from the start
There's no such thing as art
But that was so long ago
And now I've lived long enough to know
You take the money and run
Don't wait till the deal is done
I'm telling you son
Take the money and run
Step out the back
Shoot like a bullet from a gun
Boy don't be dumb
Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-money and run
I'm not gonna beg for it
Not even gonna break a sweat for it, no no
Gonna pocket the cash like Jumpin' Jack Flash now
Not gonna repent for the greedy old man that I've become
You take the money and run
Don't wait till the deal is done
I'm telling you son
Take the money and run
Step out the back
Shoot like a bullet from a gun
Boy don't be dumb
Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-muh-muh-muh...
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12. |
Another Guy's Song
03:50
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Say what you want, do what you will
Just get it done with, go for the kill
Sand in my teeth, dirt in my hair
I feel like a beach towel
Right now a part of me's there
Now honey I finally know what you mean
The world doesn't need a sad song
But I can't stop singing my dreams
Don't make me sing another guy's song
That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong
Maui is nice this time of year
Beautiful sunsets so I hear, you made it so clear
Your voice on the phone snap, crackles, and pops
These days I'm staying at home playing games on a cereal box
Now honey I finally know what you mean
The world doesn't need a sad song
But I can't stop singing my dreams
Don't make me sing another guy's song
That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong
Pina coladas caught in the rain
She was a showgirl, Lola was her name
You got a million tunes to choose
From a pair of blue suede shoes
To boots made for walking too
We were alone and I was singing this song for you
Now honey I finally know what you mean
The world doesn't need a sad song
But I can't stop singing my dreams
Don't make me sing another guy's song
That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong
I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Suddenly my sleeve is too long
Baby I'm down on my knees
Don't make me sing another guy's song
That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong
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Julian Velard Los Angeles, California
Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have
created cult followings overseas.
He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.
His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
... more
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