Mr. Saturday Night

by Julian Velard

/
1.
Jenny came by just to say hi And show the tattoo of my name on her thigh Sheila's on the phone, she won't leave me alone About the new position she wants to try Pleasure always leads me to pain Call me crazy, call me a lad insane Oh my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight Underneath the bedroom light Me and my mirror on a Saturday night Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight Being alone never felt so right Me and my mirror on a Saturday night, Saturday night VIP list, give it a miss I'm losing count of all the models I kiss Dom Perignon don't last very long When all the hangers-on are taking a sip Pleasure always leads me to pain Call me crazy, call me a lad insane Oh, my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight Underneath the bedroom light Me and my mirror on a Saturday night Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight Being alone never felt so right Me and my mirror on a Saturday night Saturday night When I think of all the lonely hearts out there All the young dudes alone on a Saturday night With a big stack of DVDs by the TV Crying into the popcorn on the other side of midnight My brothers, there are rocks in every ocean And there are leaves on every track And I have a dream that one day You and me and all the dreamers in the world We will start a band and we will never go back Oh, my love, I'm singing with the spiders tonight Underneath the bedroom light Me and my mirror on a Saturday night Oh my love, I'm rolling out the thunder tonight Being alone never felt so right Me and my mirror on a Saturday night, Saturday night
2.
Working out, getting fit Pretty soon I'm gonna quit Smoking's bad for my health Got a car, got some clothes DVD's from HBO All I need for myself What's gonna happen when It feels like love again for the first time, for the first time I make my way back down the long line, such a long line And it feels like love again for the first time For the first time in a while Walking out on the street Every someone that I meet Just another wreck in the road Back and forth, slipping through Use my secret ninja moves Got to keep from getting close What's gonna happen when It feels like love again for the first time, for the first time I make my way back down the long line, such a long line And it feels like love again for the first time For the first time in a while It's been a while Pitch the tent and pay the bills Tiny matters matter till The moon is full, the sun explodes Then you're left all alone with Photographs and laundromats I swear I'm never going back What, what's gonna happen when What, you push the button and What, what's gonna happen when It feels like love again for the first time for the first time I make my way back down the long line, such a long line And it feels like love again for the first time For the first time in a while Feels like love again for the first time, for the first time I make my way back down the long line, such a long line And it feels like love again for the first time Better be the last time for a while
3.
Sentimental 02:55
Time has never been in love He's just a no good hustler in the club Who takes you home Telling lies like any other guy Time says what you wanna hear He says he'll help you get ahead in your career Time never healed my broken heart And I should hate myself because I'm just a Sentimental fool in love Can't get to sleep cause I'm thinking about us Makes no difference if it's wrong or it's right I stay awake just in case you come home tonight I should leave you in the past Take a train or a plane something that goes really fast And fly ahead to place on the right track I should be selling stocks and selling bonds I should be making deals, creating jobs for the poor Doing good for mankind Instead of being stuck way back in time I'm just a sentimental fool in love Can't get to sleep cause I'm thinking about us Makes no difference if it's wrong or it's right I stay awake just in case you come home tonight
4.
No Wrong 03:28
I'm in trouble and I don't know why A lifelong sentence for another crime I never committed, I'll never admit it I'm an innocent guy, yes I am You got me sitting in your court in the sky Judge and jury my lover with a list of exhibits Couple of digits on the back of a matchbook With no matches in it I did no wrong, no wrong No animals hurt in the making But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking No wrong, No wrong No reason for me to be faking But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking Romance movies and a bottle of wine Gets most girls through but for you Something is missing You'd rather sit and check alibis, yes you would Where was I at a quarter to nine July 15th? Lemme think I was at Richard's, not at your sisters Baby you're crazy with a criminal mind I did no wrong, no wrong No animals hurt in the making But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking No wrong, No wrong No reason for me to be faking But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking Here in the moonlight glow I see the long lost look in your eyes I'm letting my feelings show You gotta trust this love, you gotta let this go I did no wrong, no wrong No animals hurt in the making But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking No wrong, No wrong No reason for me to be faking But you keep singing along It's the same old song And it's only my heart you keep on breaking
5.
It's lonely there, It's lonely there I know I'm not supposed to care about Breaking the rules, swimming in pools But I can't get em' out of my mind Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans Everybody needs a little love some of the time Rita was a singer in a band Had about a half a dozen fans She took a summer trip to LA Now Rita a couple tattoos A couple hundred thousand hits on Youtube In the nude, she got a California senator screwed It's lonely there, It's lonely there I know I'm not supposed to care about Hollywood News, Silicone Boobs But I can't get em' out of my mind Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans Everybody needs a little love some of the time Lemme tell you bout Bernie See Bernie was a kid on the block He went from plumbing to king of the stocks A hard-working, honest, respectable, self-made family man Now Bernie's kids are crying the tears Cause Bernie's doing hundred and fifty years With a bunk bed husband teaching him his first career It's lonely there, It's lonely there I know I'm not supposed to care about Pimping the jewels, prison life rules But I can't get em' out of my mind Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans Everybody needs a little love some of the time Why are they so afraid, afraid we're gonna invade? Don't they know Americans are all alone? Why don't they understand we just wanna be friends It's so obvious, don't they know It's lonely there, It's lonely there I know I'm not supposed to care about Breaking the rules, swimming in pools But I can't get em' out of my mind Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans Everybody needs a little love some of the time It's lonely here, it's lonely there It's lonely just about everywhere For people like me and people like you I can't get them out of my mind Not I'm not scared, I'm not scared To say I'm proud of my fellow Americans Everybody needs a little love some of the time
6.
Love's not for everyone Certainly not for me I cry in my sleep I bruise too easily Whenever I see the flame I'm afraid of getting burned Standing too close again I guess I'll never learn But I think I'm on to something When I look in your eyes When I look in your eyes Sometimes the lightning strikes When you least expect it to Sometimes the thing you need Is right in front of you A life lived in the past Is no way to get it right There's a chance that I'm wrong I'm gonna take that chance tonight Cause I think I'm on to something When I look in your eyes When I look in your eyes I think I'm on to something When I look in your eyes What if I'm wrong and you leave with my heart And you steal my dreams and it tears me apart I'm on the side of the road, broken down again I have to find my way back home again Love's not for everyone Certainly not for me I cry in my sleep I bruise too easily But something has changed I got nothing to fear You can bring on the fire As long as I got you here My hands are trembling My heart is in my mouth I been so scared of love Tell me what's it all about Cause I think I'm on to something When I look in your eyes When I look in your eyes
7.
I was sitting on top of the world With my arm around a beautiful girl We were flying with the windows rolled We were listening to the Rolling Stones I couldn't see a cloud in the sky Couldn't see a single reason why You would leave me on the side of the road Broken down, living alone Love should come with a warning on the side: Will leave your heart frozen in time No no nothing's changed Song it always ends the same It's the soundtrack of my life I can't slow it down I keep on hearing you saying goodbye You're saying goodbye You're saying goodbye I was sitting on top of the world Got my arm around a beautiful girl Got the feeling that I've been here before The kind of feeling I don't want anymore Still flying with the windows rolled Still listening to the Rolling Stones I need to turn the music down Stop your voice going round and round Love should come with a warning on the side: Will leave your heart frozen in time” No no nothing's changed The song it always ends the same It's the soundtrack of my life I can't slow it down I keep on hearing you saying goodbye You're saying goodbye You're saying goodbye On my heart I keep on trippin' On the ice I keep on slippin' On the time I'm reminiscing On my heart I keep on trippin' On the ice I keep on slippin' On the time I'm reminiscing When you were mine Love should come with a warning on the side: Will leave your heart frozen in time” No no nothing's changed The song it always ends the same It's the soundtrack of my life I can't slow it down I keep on hearing you saying goodbye You're saying goodbye You're saying goodbye
8.
I remember when we were five A couple of kids sitting side by side On a picture perfect day on the way to school Along came Brendon Jimmy James With his golden hair and his angel face He stole my brand new bike and my girlfriend too He stole you too All of the nights that I've spent alone Am I the dog who doesn't get the bone? Tell me what I gotta do Gotta walk across the wire for you Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth Do pushups in the desert heat Tame a lion, get black and blue From boxing with a kangaroo Still you never notice what it is I'm going through How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you How do I get to be with you Midnight strikes and the line is long For the monster movie marathon When I get the guts to ask you to the prom Thanks but no you say to me Cause Captain Dan on the football team Is so good-lookin and he's twice as strong He's twice as strong All of the days that I've dreamed of love My time has come now, I've dreamed enough Tell me what I gotta do Gotta walk across the wire for you Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth Do pushups in the desert heat Tame a lion, get black and blue From boxing with a kangaroo Still you never notice what it is I'm going through How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you How do I get to be with you I can see us in the future Girl in the picture Where are you now? Remember when you see me waving It's not cause I'm waving You're watching me drown All of the nights that I've spent alone Why can't you throw this dog a bone? Tell me what I gotta do Gotta walk across the wire for you Gotta catch a bullet in my teeth Do pushups in the desert heat Tame a lion, get black and blue From boxing with a kangaroo Still you never notice what it is I'm going through How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you How do I get to be with you Shoot myself into outer space Lose the cops in a getaway chase How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you Save a baby in a burning fire Be the man that you desire How do I get to be the guy who gets to be with you How do I get to be with you
9.
29 years is a long time I'd say To have to make a living to find a better way Opportunity knocks when it's the last thing you want Nobody looks for love in a Chinese restaurant Five foot seven and a smile like a beauty queen From a movie scene Madonna 1983 if you know what I mean 55 minutes and she lit a cigarette Said a thing I'll never forget Everybody wants to be famous Live out their lives In the heat of the sun Be someone You see a chance and you take it Everybody can dance Everybody can sing Everybody can be Famous like me I'm done with monotony Look where it's gotten me Suit jacket and tie with a mortgage 20 feet high I coulda been a painter, a Beethoven, a Mozart Coulda been a contender instead of attending seminars 29 years and I still don't know what I want Looking for love outside the same Chinese restaurant I can still see her climb in the cab and out the rain I can see her roll down the window to say Everybody wants to be famous Live out their lives In the heat of the sun Be someone You see a chance and you take it Everybody can dance Everybody can sing Everybody can be Famous like me High in the sky House in the hills Show me where to sign this time I will I'm tired of waiting in line Waiter bring me the bill I want a piece of the action I want a slice of the pie I want a key to a city And a girl with my name on her thigh Why, why can't I have those things? The things that fame brings Even if it ends in 15 minutes Everybody wants to be famous Live out their lives In the heat of the sun Be someone You see a chance and you take it Everybody can dance Everybody can sing Everybody can be Famous like me
10.
Scared of a gentle breeze Terrified I'm gonna sneeze In my castle of sand It slips through the hourglass Sailing without a mast I'm on a search for dry land No I'm not through You wanted the truth I'm still in love, still in love with you Looking back we came so close A perfect pair almost Guess we ran out of luck The king of hearts doesn't make a hand It takes the queen to make the man There's still some life left in me Well no I'm not through I'm still in love with you You wanted the truth I'm still in love, still in love with you I never fell this far before Battered and bruised, face down on the floor I've never seen my heart so black and blue Seeing stars over you But I'm still in love with you No I'm not through You wanted the truth I'm still in love, still in love with you
11.
I didn't use to be this way Was a good kid back in the day Safe to say things have changed Yeah I remember when I brushed my teeth every night Held my pretty little girlfriend tight I didn't let the bedbugs bite But that was so long ago And now I've lived long enough to know You take the money and run Don't wait till the deal is done I'm telling you son Take the money and run Step out the back Shoot like a bullet from a gun Boy don't be dumb Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-money and run You're asking me what I would do With a cool one milli or two Safe to say I pity the fool Who does the right thing And follows the voice in his heart I wish I was told from the start There's no such thing as art But that was so long ago And now I've lived long enough to know You take the money and run Don't wait till the deal is done I'm telling you son Take the money and run Step out the back Shoot like a bullet from a gun Boy don't be dumb Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-money and run I'm not gonna beg for it Not even gonna break a sweat for it, no no Gonna pocket the cash like Jumpin' Jack Flash now Not gonna repent for the greedy old man that I've become You take the money and run Don't wait till the deal is done I'm telling you son Take the money and run Step out the back Shoot like a bullet from a gun Boy don't be dumb Just take the muh- muh- muh- muh-muh-muh-muh...
12.
Say what you want, do what you will Just get it done with, go for the kill Sand in my teeth, dirt in my hair I feel like a beach towel Right now a part of me's there Now honey I finally know what you mean The world doesn't need a sad song But I can't stop singing my dreams Don't make me sing another guy's song That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong Maui is nice this time of year Beautiful sunsets so I hear, you made it so clear Your voice on the phone snap, crackles, and pops These days I'm staying at home playing games on a cereal box Now honey I finally know what you mean The world doesn't need a sad song But I can't stop singing my dreams Don't make me sing another guy's song That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong Pina coladas caught in the rain She was a showgirl, Lola was her name You got a million tunes to choose From a pair of blue suede shoes To boots made for walking too We were alone and I was singing this song for you Now honey I finally know what you mean The world doesn't need a sad song But I can't stop singing my dreams Don't make me sing another guy's song That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve Suddenly my sleeve is too long Baby I'm down on my knees Don't make me sing another guy's song That's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong

about

On his sophomore release, Mr. Saturday Night, Julian Velard took the wisecracking lyrical style and high-gloss production of The Planeteer and dialed it up to 11. Record in London over the course of a year with producers Jerry Abbott and Grant Black and mixed by Steve Power, Mr. Saturday Night put the "it" back in "songwriter" with catchy cuts like "Love Again For The First Time," Everybody Wants To Be Famous, "Sentimental" and more.

credits

released April 1, 2011

Produced by Jerry Abbott and Grant Black
Mixed by Steve Power

All Songs written by JV, Jerry Abbott, and Grant Black except
Love Again For The First Time written by JV and Martin Brammer
Another Guy's Song written by JV

Vocals, Piano, Keyboards - Julian Velard
Guitars, Bass, Keyboards, Programming - Jerry Abbott
Drums - Jeremy Stacey
Horns - Rory Simmons, Nicol Thomson, Jon Shenoy

Guitars on Love Again For The First Time - Tim Van Der Kuil
Bass on Love Again For The First Time - Pino Palladino

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Julian Velard New York

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
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