If You Don't Like It, You Can Leave

by Julian Velard

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1.
Packing my bags into a car Heading to East L.A. Nothing but sun up in the sky But it’s just not the same Not like the time you left me stranded in the Bronx 4 in the morning, couldn’t get a cab to stop Walking out in the cold, it hurt me just to breathe New York, I love it when you’re mean When you’re mean to me Break out the shorts, go to the gym Nobody wears long sleeves People are tan, sculpted and thin Straight outta magazines Not like the 7 train on a Monday after 5 Knocking old ladies down to make it home alive Stuck in the subway like a can of sardines New York, I love it when you’re mean Can’t believe I never stopped to notice the million little lights Inside of each one is somebody’s little life Who’s in need of stars when you got all these apartments lighting up the night? I never seen it shine so bright Some other cities may be easy on the eyes You see yourself living there, happy till you die But give it to me real, I don’t wanna live in a dream New York, I love it when you’re mean New York, it’s exactly as it seems New York, you don’t like it you can leave New York, you don’t know what it means when you’re mean to me
2.
Battery Park I’m on my way Union Square I don’t need much a pair of shoes will get me there Stop for a Peking duck for lunch in Chinatown Shop for a watch along Canal Mine’s slowing down But I’ve been on time ever since I was sixteen I’ve never been late Cause I’ve never had to wait For the lights turn from red to green What does horsepower even mean? I don’t know how to drive Who the hell wants a car anyway? My feet on the street I’m alive I’m at looking you Stuck sitting in traffic for an hour or two The back of a cabbie’s head blocking the view That’s not what New Yorkers do Bumper to Bumper it’s St. Patrick’s Day parade Plaza Hotel’s my shortcut though I’ve never stayed Meet you at 3:15 outside the Guggenheim Later for dinner and a little night music I love Sondheim And I’ve been walking tall ever since I was sixteen I’ve never missed a date Cause I’ve never had to wait For the lights to turn from red to green I’m my own two-legged machine I don’t know how to drive Who the hell wants a car anyway? My feet on the street I’m alive I’m at looking you Stuck sitting in traffic for an hour or two The back of a cabbie’s head blocking the view That’s not what New Yorkers do Out in the Hamptons everyone owns a Cadillac Models with DUIs and a taste for Armagnac Why would I need wheel if I want to feel Like I’m going places I’ll take a few paces I don’t know how to drive Who the hell wants a car anyway? My feet on the street I’m alive I’m at looking you Stuck sitting in traffic for an hour or two The back of a cabbie’s head blocking the view When will you wake up And see the only way through Is out here on the sidewalk Cause walking’s what true New Yorkers do
3.
“Can I have your autograph?” That’s the line that made you laugh My little Anne Hathaway Sipping your latte at brunch Private school in Connecticut Taught you coffee shop etiquette My devilish grin and good manners Pack quite a punch I hear there’s a bar that’s brand new With a great east river view And after a whisky or a few It’s back to mine for season two Of a show you’ve never seen I’ll explain plot points in between kisses Cause this is a Brooklyn kind of love My roommate thinks you’re heaven sent Especially now that we split the rent Life’s been never sweeter Then this two-seater financial ride I dream of children with our face A doorman and a parking space Together we can make it Take it straight to the Upper West Side Manhattan’s a land of kings And queens with wedding rings One day we’ll afford the finer things Till then let’s wait here in the wings Drinking in the Hudson sun Embracing the odds of a million-to-one near misses Cause this is a Brooklyn kind of love I knew you were different Right from the start You saw through my bow tie And into my heart Like the Chrysler shining at night You’re a star, you’re a star With you and this city I need nothing at all My life is a movie You’re my Annie Hall I’m loving where we are Where we are you’re a star So can I have your autograph? Let’s go to that bar for you and me Where the skyline’s easy to see We’ll dance till dawn beneath the apple marquee Then back to ours for season 3 Of that show we’ve both seen The story of a king and queen The once Mister and Misses Like this is a Brooklyn Like this is a Brooklyn Like this is a Brooklyn kind of love
4.
A River Away 03:33
Streets are full Of people living lives like us Waiting on a dream to come And take them away A dream’s not a bus Take a look inside yourself Take the journey by yourself The Brooklyn Bridge is just a bridge It’s nothing but stone It won’t bring you home I’m standing on the other side I need you to make it tonight When you’re falling love You can’t be afraid Come over I’m only a river away When the heart is on fire Stop chasing the rain Go ahead baby jump in the water I’m only a river Away with doubt We know what that’s all about Spending nights alone With thoughts of what could have been We all have to swim To make it to the other side You have to leave the fear behind When you’re falling love You can’t be afraid Come over I’m only a river away When the heart is on fire Stop chasing the rain Go ahead baby jump in the water I’m only a river Away from you The storm is inside you Let my eyes be your guide The light will pull you through The river’s dark and deep The heavy secrets will keep you From seeing the truth When you’re falling love You can’t be afraid Come over I’m only a river away When the heart is on fire Stop chasing the rain Go ahead baby jump in the water I’m only a river away Only a river away Only a river away
5.
Baby look at the sky I can see the bridge from here Our future’s never been so clear The clock is counting The reasons why You should leave me on the brink With a lifetime left to think About this city and its people Walking around parks till they day they die Don’t make me one of them I guarantee I’ll give this love a try Here’s what I think Let’s go and get drunk without my friends Make sure the evening ends With making out in the back of every cab I don’t care where we wake up If you swear you’ll stay with me And no one’s getting married tonight No girl in this bar looks better than you No matter what they do They could say, “let’s have a three-way” We know the only two things that are true Is that you’re leaving with me And no one’s getting married tonight I have a plan If we wait a couple years And develop our careers This could be more than A flash in the pan Flip a good thing into great Maybe own some real estate Inside this city so full of people Riding subways till the day they die Don’t make me one of them I guarantee I’ll give this love a try Here’s what I think Let’s go and get drunk without your friends Make sure the evening ends With getting laid in a white limousine We’ll listen to Springsteen I will spend all my Sundays with you If no one’s getting married tonight No guy in this club looks better than me No matter who you see He could be a shirtless fireman We know he’s only muscles and tan And that you're leaving with me And no one’s getting married tonight Tonight, not tonight Here’s what I think Let’s go and get drunk I’m your friend And I want my life to end With no compromises Let’s be ourselves and get rid of all disguises I’m scared of the unknown And you’re scared of being alone And there’s nothing wrong With admitting every fear They get stronger ever year Nobody’s getting any younger I can see our future It’s shining so bright Maybe the timing’s not right Do you own anything white? Maybe I’m not the one Let’s get married tonight Tonight, not tonight
6.
Jimmy Young 04:02
Jimmy Young played piano at the bar My Dad said Jimmy Young coulda been a superstar 1967 a year to remember Summer of love ran through September Girls in the village, heaven was never far With Jimmy Young at the bar Jimmy Young he could kill you with a song My Dad said Jimmy Young made you feel like you belong Winter in the city was hard to handle Blew the dream out like a candle The bar was silent Empty from dusk till dawn Jimmy Young was gone I’ve been singing my heart out For the best years of my life Now I’m wondering what it’s all about Tell me where’s the rainbow and the pot of gold For this lonely thirty three year-old Is that where you are Jimmy? Is a piano bar the only place I’ll ever be? My dad says I’m Jimmy Young My dad says I’m Jimmy Young I am Jimmy Young I am Jimmy Young
7.
7:08 in the morning I’m with girl of my dreams Five feet away making breakfast Sharing a coffee With the wall in-between Listening out for the footsteps My soul is the sole of her shoes My heart is a part of the hallway I’m falling to pieces I think I should I move I think I’m love with the girl next door Apartment D6 on the fifteenth floor The wait for the elevator makes my day “Are you going down?” Is all I ever say She’s on her way I pray for the sound of my doorbell When will the moment arrive? When she loses her key And comes looking for me Buried Alive Here in D5 I think I’m love with the girl next door Apartment D6 on the fifteenth floor The wait for the elevator makes my day “Are you going down?” Is all I ever say She’s on her way I should talk to her But there’s only fifteen flights I wanna be next to her On the other side of the fifteen floor tonight I think I’m love with the girl next door Apartment D6 on the fifteenth floor The wait for the elevator makes my day “Are you going down?” Is all I ever say She’s on her way I go back upstairs Where I’ll stay 11 hours 37 minutes On my own At 6:48 She gets home
8.
You don’t fall in love at the start of a journey The light from the stars takes a lifetime to arrive The mind gets ahead of the heart in a hurry You don’t fall in love at the start You won’t fall apart late at night when you’re lonely Pick up the phone we can talk till New York opens its eyes Give me a chance you’ll see I’m not that bad once you get to know me You won’t fall in love at the start You don’t walk away without seeing the ending A great romance of the heart is worth years of waiting in line No way to tell if love’s real or a scene you saw in a movie We’re all in dark No one knows what’s coming But I’m willing bet we’re gonna be stunning Baby you don’t fall in love at the start
9.
I don’t know where I will go Or what I will do Nothing’s left to remind me of you That old Manhattan I love The home I once knew Nothing’s left to remind me of you They’re building a tower on my street 44 stories of glass and concrete 6 months to complete And 6 months from then will we care at all About a concert hall That had to fall No one plays Gershwin anymore I don’t know where I will go Or what I will do Nothing’s left to remind me of you That old Manhattan I love The home I once knew Nothing’s left to remind me of you I grew up on baseball and Dr. Brown’s Popcorns and hot dogs Send in the clowns Like million other towns Covered in banks and fast food chains With drive through lanes All that remains Is Grand Central Station and me I don’t know where I will go Or what I will do Nothing’s left to remind me of you That old Manhattan I love The home I once knew Nothing’s left to remind me of Checkered cabs Hotel lobby bar tabs Subway Tokens Where are the pay phones? New York I’m calling you That old Manhattan I love The home I once knew Nothing’s left to remind me of you
10.
Where’s the orchestra? Wasn’t this supposed to be a musical? Here I am in the balcony How the hell could I have missed the overture? I like the scenery even though I have absolutely no idea at all What is being said despite the dialogue There’s the leading man The movie star who never faced an audience Where’s the orchestra? After all this is my big night on the town My introduction to the theater crowd I assumed that the show would have a song So I was wrong At least I understand All the innuendo and the irony And I appreciate the roles the actors played The point the author made And after the closing lines And after the curtain calls The curtain falls on empty chairs Where’s the orchestra?

about

This love letter to Julian's hometown of New York City tackles every possibility and promise of the five boroughs you can imagine, with standouts like "New York, I Love It When You're Mean," "No One's Getting Married Tonight," the autobiographical "Jimmy Young" and a cover of Billy Joel's "Where's The Orchestra?" Recorded in Rhinebeck, NY with producers Steve Power (Robbie Williams, Joe Cocker) and Grammy Award winner Will Hensley.

credits

released June 17, 2014

Produced by Steve Power and Will Hensley

Recorded by Will Hensley on November 3-8, 2013 at The Clubhouse Studio in Rhinebeck, NY
Recording assisted by Andy Gilchrist
Mixed by Steve Power at TOP Studios in London, UK
Mix assisted by Rohan Onraet
Mastered by Tony Cousins at Metropolis in London, UK
Mastered for vinyl by Alex DeTurk at Masterdisk, NYC

Personnel:

JV - Vocals, Piano, Wurlitzer 200a, Hammond B-3, Farfisa Organ, Glockenspiel, Orchestra Bells
Ryan Bull - Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar
Jon Cornell - Upright Bass, Electric Bass
Bill Campbell - Drums, Percussion
Justin Flynn - Tenor Saxophone, Clarinet
Jeff Pierce - Trumpet
All horn arrangements by Justin Flynn

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Julian Velard New York

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
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