We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

15 Years of B​-​Sides

by Julian Velard

subscriber exclusive
1.
A Little One 02:55
I don’t care who these people think they are Both of us know they always mop the cars If I kiss your cold and dirty hands Will you give me one more chance A little one, a little one I need a chance to show things can change A little one, and if I’m wrong I’ll take the pain I need a chance to show I can change I’ve seen a flower grow in outer space I’ve seen the Mona Lisa change her face All these things I know you’ll understand If you give me one more chance A little one, a little one I need a chance to show things can change A little one, and if I’m wrong I’ll take the pain I need a chance to show I can change The stain on your dress and the mud on your car The time on the stairs when I took it too far Of all of your friends we’re always the last to arrive I started the fire and burned down the house Woke up the sky and the stars fell out They stood there laughing, saying ‘look what happens’ I don’t care who these people think they are A little one, a little one I need a chance to show things can change A little one, and if I’m wrong I’ll walk away A little one, a little one I’m not afraid to show that I’m ashamed A little one and if I’m wrong I’ll take the blame I need a chance to show that things can change .. Oh no no ne now…
2.
All in All 03:47
My number came up today They're sending me across the Waves I don't like the ocean, but I'm told that my emotions Tend to lead me astray Promise me you'll be my gal You'll send a post just once in a while You'll sleep beside my dirty clothing Stay up every night just hoping I'll be okay I'll make it but All in all, it's all the still the same I'm in love, you're not coming back to me Hold me down, let the water run over all I've done Till I'm back in your arms again Hold the phone, you say I make no sense Okay I'll back things up, I'm dropping all pretense So let me start by saying, all I done with you Was in the way of Self-defense You see the world's been kind, oh but most times cruel And I've lived long enough to know when I'm the fool Baby if I'm going off to war I gotta know exactly who I'm doing it for So don't fake it All in all, it's all the still the same I'm in love, you're not coming back to me Hold me down, let the water run over all I've done Till I'm back in your arms again Woah oh oh I'm lonely love, lonely love Let me know where you are I'll go there no matter how far I'll rise up from hell to your star It must be love just because It's the only thing I'm sure of Do you remember when we stole the treasure chest? Just you and me then, I like those times best Would it matter baby if I said I die to go back there again Would I pass your test? Well girl I take what I can get cause... All in all, it's all the still the same I'm in love, you're not coming back to me Hold me down, let the water run over all I've done From the valley bold to the setting sun Let the people see all that's meant to be That I was right for you and you were right for me Take me from the guns, and from the front and back in your arms
3.
Am Who I Am 02:56
Top of a building and I don’t wanna look Wanna read my comic book Wanna see super heroes take command I wanna be Batman but I always be a crook But the wrong turn that I took down the road That made me a man You are who you are, I am who I am Not much we can do about What’s out of our hands Live out your life the best that you can, It’s who you are, it’s who I am Top of a building, there are birds in the sky How do birds get so high How do words hurt me in my chest You said I was good but I’ll never be best No I’ll never be that guy in the sky it’s upon my chest You are who you are, I am who I am Not much we can do about What’s out of our hands Live out your life the best that you can, It’s who you are, it’s who I am Shoot me down in broad day light No need for night sight, shoot me down, Shoot me or I’ll die of stage fright It’s looking like a 40 storey fall before my body hits the ground Top of a building, yes I know I’m a champ But I’m ready to jump, watch me now We both know how this thing works out Sit back, relax, enjoy the show That’s what it’s all about Cuz... You are who you are, I am who I am Not much we can do about What’s out of our hands Live out your life the best that you can, Cuz you are who you are, I am who I am Don’t lend me your arm Don’t try to reach out your hand Just live out your life the best that you can It’s who you are, it’s who I am We’ve come so far, please understand It’s who you are, it’s who I am We’ve come so far, please understand It’s who you are, it’s who I am We’ve come so far, please understand
4.
The restaurants are closing up now on Amsterdam Avenue A tired road in a tired town renames to tenth avenue The taxi cabs pull to the kerb and fade into the night Bus Boy sweeps cement with dirty aprons covered in people's lives Fire Escapes outta Christmas Sun showering blinking blue Dragging bodies for too long, no one can get through The streets, wraps around my mind, and finds it's way to you Dreams come cheap, on Amsterdam..Avenue.... Avenue......Avenue....Avenue. The restaurants are closing up now on Amsterdam Avenue A tired road in a tired city renamed tenth avenue. The restaurants are closing up now on Amsterdam Avenue A tired road in a tired city renamed to tenth avenue.
5.
Another lonely night on the way Followed by another lonely day No sign says exit My head’s ringing like a car alarm Am I the only one in a city awake I’m climbing down the fire escape I’m coming now, I can’t wait Hello, are you missing me, are you falling apart Baby are you calling me, when the night comes calling Where are you Missing you is killing me, I need a light in the dark Cuz I know, I know that you’re out there I can hear the beat of your heart Looking up and down a dead end street Isn’t this where we were supposed to meet How long have I been here I wanna take down the hands of the clock And put ‘em back to when you left me In the parking lot I can feel time ticking away my lonely days You gotta make it stop Hello, see you missing me are you falling apart Baby are you calling me, when the night comes calling Where are you Missing you is killing me, I need a light in the dark Cuz I know, I know that you’re out there I can hear the beat of your heart It’s obvious, I can hear your heart I hear it all around, it’s a stereo sound It’s obvious our love was never done Tell me where you are, I’ll run run run I’m sick of livin’ alone in an empty room Keep callin’ it home, but my home is with you I keep holding out, my heart keeps ringing out Pick up the phone baby… Hello, see you missing me, are you falling apart Baby are you calling me, when the night comes calling Where are you Missing you is killing me, I need a light in the dark Cuz I know, I know that you’re out there I can hear the beat of your heart Hello, see you missing me, are you falling apart Baby are you calling me, when the night comes calling Where are you Missing you is killing me, I need a light in the dark Cuz I know, I know that you’re out there I can hear the beat of your heart
6.
Left you down by riverside The evening tide was rowing high That silent supine thing they call the Seine I was tired of your little girl games. Then, suddenly, the other day I pictured you in sewer drains Collecting paper boats, that children lose I was drunk, in a jealous mood So I got down, crawled stomach side And tossed those carpet rolls aside The kind of sanitation workers use They came green, took me to police blues And in jail this man of stone who broke his foot In nights so lonely told me I was guilty for my crime Yeah, I thanked him in time Found my way back to the river Sat and stared at least an hour, I gave up I tried weeping for your sake Think they must make these benches for heartbreak Back to her cuz that expound her Tides for loving serve this hand Back to me, back to me, in your pouting way Time will find your sunken quays
7.
8.
Beth I miss you, come back Beth I Miss you dearly, come back Beth I need you near me, come back Beth Beth I miss you, come back Beth You said I hurt you, come back Beth Took you for granted, come back Beth I took advantage, come back Beth But now I’ m sorry, come back Beth Beth, I can’t pretend So take me as I am, I’m just a sentimental Beth I can’t help that I’m prone to temptation, no good at relationships But Beth I miss you, come back Beth I want to kiss you, come back Beth So let’s forget it, come back Beth Beth I miss you, Beth, I can’t pretend So take me as I am, I’m just a sentimental Beth I can’t help that I’m prone to temptation, no good at relationships But Beth I miss you, come back Beth I want to kiss you, come back Beth So let’s forget it, come back Beth Beth I miss you, come back Beth Beth I miss you , baby please I need you in my life so bad I rode the bus for you, I rode the bus Beth I need you , baby please I need you in my life so bad I rode the bus for you, I rode the bus
9.
10.
Dizzy 03:09
Don’t get me excited, you know I can’t hide it Like a kid with a grin, or a cat with a bird You got me flyin’, baby just hold on, hold on I used to be ugly way back before you loved me I was down at the end, you were only my friend And you drugged me, baby just hold on, hold on I’m getting dizzy and it’s not gonna stop won’t stop, a little dizzy And I’m losin’ control, Planet earth is losing it’s hold I’m getting dizzy all the way to the top Won’t stop a little dizzy But I won’t let you go, won’t let you go Your friends gonna miss her Your fingers gonna get blisters We can take a little pain In exchange for our own solar system So Baby just hold on, hold on I’m getting dizzy and it’s not gonna stop won’t stop, a little dizzy And I’m losin’ control, Planet earth is losing it’s hold I’m getting dizzy all the way to the top Won’t stop a little dizzy But I won’t let you go, I won’t let you go Won’t let you go, won’t let you go, I won’t let you go I’m getting dizzy and it’s not gonna stop won’t stop, a little dizzy And I’m losin’ control, Planet earth is losing it’s hold I’m getting dizzy all the way to the top Won’t stop a little dizzy But I won’t let you go, I won’t let you go I’m getting dizzy and it’s not gonna stop won’t stop, a little dizzy And I’m losin’ control, Planet earth is losing it’s hold I’m getting dizzy all the way to the top Won’t stop a little dizzy But I won’t let you go, I won’t let you go, I won’t let you go
11.
12.
13.
Everyone knows it’s you Tell me it isn’t true Call me a liar, set me on fire, tell me I’m wrong Everyone knows it’s you What am I supposed to do If everyone knows its you Everyone’s had enough Of all the romantic stuff Call me a sinner, a lonely beginner At the start of the game If everyone’s had enough Where does that leave us if everyone’s had enough Of all of those late nights nights trying to Keep from crying have to see this flame is dying We did our best to pass the test and get the weight up off our chest It’s the burden that burns Talking about it only makes it worse Everyone’s on their own With no direction home Point the finger make me the singer of my favorite band If everyone ‘s on their own everyone hates being alone Why are we on our own Can somebody stay for a little while? Somebody who makes me laugh and smile Somebody who waits for that perfect moment to say What we always hope in our heart is true Everyone knows that's you So what am I supposed to do Woo woo woo…
14.
Family Tree 03:44
15.
16.
17.
18.
You better get up the stairs Or you're not going anywhere's You better get up the stairs Or you're not going anywhere's My life's me brand new iPad Me goes tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet Me want me brand new headphones Me go beep beep beep beep beep Me love me brand new IPad Me go tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet Me need me brand new headphones Me go beep ..me go .beep beep You better get up the stairs Or you're not going anywhere's You better get up the stairs Or you're not going anywhere's My life's me brand new iPad Me go tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet Me love me brand new headphones Me go beep beep beep beep beep Me love me brand new IPad Me go tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet me need me brand new headphones Me go beep me go beep beep
19.
When I was young I dreamt I'd live a life Of fortune and fame Leave behind a legacy with an extraordinary name Rockefeller, John D, maybe Morgan, J B I'd be the king of cabaret Like Rudolf zigfield , Florence J But fate's not a thing you can choose, directions, easy loose When you're distracted by the dirt on your canvas tennis shoes Yet somehow you made it through So I got this question for you Tell me, what would you do Howard Hughes I never leave the house, I never cut my hair Just like you there's toilet paper everywhere I'm free from disease but if the audience sees Instead of rounds of applause I get shouts and boos What would you do Howard Hughes The internet was made for you and me Man with a blend of courage and crippling OCD If you were alive you'd see We'd be friends on FB then start up a start-up And they'll see a www..Howard and me When it comes to my emotions I'm an average guy I know something's wrong, please don't ask me why The condition's symptomatic Of a memory traumatic I call it the 21 century blues Isn't that what you would do Howard Hughes ..oh yeah here we go Howard The internet was made for people in need people looking for love people looking for someone to lead So many hearts to be freed who better than us To drop the bus , fly a plane at internet speed A couple of Zuckerbids indeed I am painfully aware of the world outside I always keep my window open wide Today might be the day the girl across the way talks to me If only I could swallow my pride and push the pen at the side But I got too much to lose, it's too hard to hide To strange to excuse the sounds that I make The meows and the moos I'm louder than cows or a gang of kangaroos I don't belong in the world, I belong in a zoo Safe behind bars, the same thing you went through That's why I've got this question for you You've gotta tell it to me true Do I need to see somebody or am I a coward Howard Hughes
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
Time paying my dues Change getting used to This glass that I'm looking through I'm in the middle of an investigation Things that I wanna say down deep inside of my brain My mind, my heart is a cave I'm in the middle of an excavation I try, I try my best to joke That's why that's why I need a smoke But I don't smoke I never could smoke When everyone else smokes I saw as is a joke staying On the edge of my thoughts I better step back before I fall out I'm strange, stranger than I thought I'm the step of the investigation I try, I try my best to learn That's why, that's why 's to wait your turn I never could learn to wait my turn Cos I wanna lean they're gonna get burnt Stakes I'm crossing the line Dinner plates, the china is fine I like your face I've made up my mind I wanna start up an investigation ....
25.
26.
Last Train 03:43
Last train this evening Loudspeaker call Station was empty dirty and small A voice surprised me Could have been 60, face like a child Yellow cheeks blended by lipsticky smile She crept beside me her arms around me She whispered soft and sweet I heard many stories Most I believe, ,I tried to recount hers Someone indeed so tried to re-see She broke from those flashing those brow mindless stance said She was off to that some place sublime I hope that maybe she would invite you I wanted nothing more The last train was leaving , doors slid on close I climbed up the stairwell and started go home The night was so cold
27.
Every time I look at you I see myself the way I want to be It’s the feeling in my bones Just the thought of losing you Is bringing out the very worse in me No I never felt this low I wanna be with you though the long years of my life And I am willing to relinquish my control I will agree to be your lawfully wedded wife Honor and obey you, to have and to hold Winter wind is closing in I find myself going out again My apartment’s very cold Too much time in bars I spend Buying drinks for non-existent friends Getting drunk is getting old I wanna be with you though the long years of my life And I am willing to relinquish my control I will agree to be your lawfully wedded wife Honor and obey you, to have and to hold Look at me on my knees I never been this way before I believe I will freeze If I stay here on the floor I need relief from the grief I can't take this anymore, anymore, anymore I wanna be with you throughout the long years of my life And I am willing give everything I own I will agree to be your lawfully wedded wife Honor and obey you, whatever you say goes I wanna be with you, be your lawfully wedded wife I wanna stay with you for the rest of my whole life I wanna be with you, I don’t wanna be alone Don’t wanna be alone
28.
29.
30.
Magic Dance 00:32
31.
32.
33.
34.
Mount Hebron 06:34
Take me to Mount Hebron said the old Hebrew Who deals in Roman numerals There he swears far up the mountainside A slanted candy store in his eyes Take me, save me There, men are one working toward a new sun It’s not so far by car Say, I hear you have one If we leave tonight The chocolate might Slide down and cover us
35.
36.
37.
Goyishe girls all over the world Can’t take my pick of All of these lovely shiksas They got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby They might be hot They might be blond But I like the Jewess With it going on yeah Goys got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby I know you know when a girl is hot I’m not gonna lie and say that shiksa’s not But my need for Jews is like a sickness that I’ve got You a lot ______ just a tater tot Girl I’m not gonna take it for a spin You’re the only dreidel that I’m getting in Sleepin' with that girl it would be a major sin I’m the shofar so you start to blow in What’s all this business What’s up with Christmas I need a girl who’s down with Hanukkah I don’t wanna sound racist But gotta say this I know what Clinton saw in Monica Jewish girls play me like harmonicas Non Jews just can’t get down like us Their chicken soup it really sucks Sucks, sucks, sucks, hey! Goyishe girls all over the world I just can’t get with ya Since ya had no bat mitzvah They got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby They can ________ Go to church to pray But I don’t want no one Who can’t say oy vey Yeah they got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby I like my girls knowing how to be super cheap I like them making me feel guilty even in my sleep Some Christian girls might never even make a peep About a matzoh ball that can make a fella weep I mean sure that girl is pretty Nose is itty bitty But she likes the Jewish look _______________ I ain’t down with Texas I like Jew York City Now stop I been to Sweden I been to Paris I don’t know when I been to Germany But I went to temple on Rosh Hashanah Now I know the Jewish girl’s for me I like girls who eat kosher Chinese And who know that _____ please And who hang out with Israelis Goyishe girls all over the world You’re hot and so sure But you don’t get kosher You got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby They might be hot And they might be blond But I like a Jewess with it goin' on Yeah goys got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby When you say you want some Challah Goyishe girls always shout When I need some Manischewitz Jewish girls bust it out Eating lox and smoked trout Knowing that shrimp is out Jewish girls got the clout, yo That’s what I’m all about Goyish girls all over the world Don’t get verklempt but ______ not having sense/cents? Yeah you got nothin’ on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby They might be hot And they might be blond But I like the Jewess with it goin' on Yeah you got nothin' on Jews baby Nothin' on Jews baby
38.
39.
Outerspace 03:35
40.
Pressure 01:38
41.
Real Love 02:03
42.
Couple of kids, cutting out school Black top’s hot, gotta keep cool I got a quarter, so do you Just enough for an Eskimo Pie, but not for two Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need We’re brothers and sisters and Rock Paper Scissors is all we need, all we need Couple of guys, hospital room We’ve grown so close so soon I need a miracle, so do you There’s just one heart, is it for me, or you? Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need We’re brother and sisters and Rock Paper Scissors is all we need, all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Brothers and sisters and Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need We’re brothers and sisters and Rock Paper Scissors is all we need, all we need All we need… Rock Paper Scissors is all we need Rock Paper Scissors is all we need…. Paper smothers rock Scissors cut paper Rock smashes scissors Rock Paper Scissors is all we need….
43.
Rough Night 03:51
It’s been a rough night Now the words can’t flow freely it’s been a rough night The waitress is cute but she’s looking straight through me It’s been a rough night So peel me from the sidewalk like a blackened piece of bubblegum Or some tired old waffle topped with syrup from the sewers And I pray the MTA will get me home by morning light (Ooh) It’s been a rough night There’s a drill in my head with an acoustic guitar bit ,oh it’s been a rough night And there’s a loose piano string wrapped in four dollar cheese shit It’s been a rough night And I’m too old to suck titties, too young to buy whisky but neither would help ‘cause I hate the taste of both And I feel this worried hour creeping down my murdered spine Ooh it’s been a rough night, It’s been a rough night, it’s been a rough night, it’s been a rough night it’s been a rough night, it’s been a rough night night….
44.
45.
46.
I headed out to the park To the little lake past the playground where you always are I can see you in the dark smoking cigarette after cigarette Just a little light beneath the stars I come so far Thanks but no thanks you know I wanted you for years But somewhere on the line your face just disappears No thanks i know it’s not what you want to hear But somewhere on the line your face just disappears Lying with you in the grass I’m a kid again just a little scared Never got this close before the time has come at last When I’m giving you what you gave to me All the agony ripped my world apart I’ve come so far Thanks but no thanks you know I wanted you for years but But somewhere on the line your face just disappears No thanks I know it’s not what you want to hear But somewhere on the line your face just disappears Right about the time you took my face in your hand And we made out like you didn’t understand what that would do What that would do to a boy trying to be a man I gotta say no ‘cause I finally can I can see I’ve come so far Thanks, not thanks you know I wanted you for years But somewhere on the line your face just disappears No thanks I know it’s not what you want to hear But somewhere on the line… Thanks no thanks you know I wanted you for years But somewhere on the line your face just disappears No thanks I know it’s not what you want to hear But somewhere on the line your face just disappears
47.
48.
49.
Looking at you I think I found myself a masterpiece Body galore and with a mind to make you so complete Lying in bed I never thought I would just fall asleep But I fell asleep Cause the right time is the right time To be the only one, to be a loaded gun Saw a stop sign on the start line I didn't want to go I didn’t want to push on I had a hard time with the right mind I didn’t want to know I didn’t want to admit That the right time, is the right time Is the right time, is the right time for moving on Living it up You know I’m making so much money now Growing on trees, I do believe it makes the world go round It’s so hard to see I think I need to cut a couple down So I cut 'em down Cause the right time is the right time To be the only one to be a loaded gun Saw a land mine on the front line I didn't want to go I didn’t want to push on Had a hard time with the base line I didn’t want to groove I didn’t want to admit That the right time, is the right time, is the right time Is the right time for moving on (Whoa oh) Is the right time for moving on I got myself to believe That love is everywhere for the weak That love is nowhere for the strong But something I’ve got to see It doesn’t matter if I believe You know it really doesn’t matter at all Fire it up, I think it’s time for me to hit the road Enough is enough, I gotta go before my heart explodes You know I’ve done some things that I don’t believe I said I done some things I don’t believe But I never ever thought I would kill this dream Cause the right time is the right time To be the only one, to be the smoking gun Ran a stop sign, cut the break line You know I gotta go, you know I shouldn’t resist I had a hard time with the right line I gotta let you go, but I got nothing to say Just the right time, is the right time Is the right time, is the right time for moving on
50.
51.
Woke up this morning hung over from the night before I need an omelette or something or some french fries you know what I mean I went down to the bank I don’t got no money 'cause it’s cool to be poor I strolled over to Bedford in my brand new leather shoes Everybody knows I’m the baddest cat around With my wristbands and my sweatband too (Williamsburg) Woo oo oo Skateboarding down the avenue Woo oo oo I’m so crazy crazy crazy Stopped in to see my girlfriend at a cute little boutique They sell these awesome hats I think they’re really neat She’s really pretty She’s the kind of girl when you see her on the street you don’t think she’s pretty But when you hang out with her she gets to be even prettier Never mind I’m sick of my girlfriend I kept walking down said what’s up to my friend at the boot hamburger Woo woo woo woo woo woo Walking down the avenue Woo woo woo woo woo woo Limping down the avenue I keep working It’s hard working this hard Nobody really knows what I do I have a lot of time on my hands And the hipsters go… Woo woo woo woo woo Electric sliding down the avenue (South Bronx, Jersey city, there’s a place in Jersey City too) Woo woo woo woo My clothes they look old but they sold brand new I am so coooooool I’m too cool for you
52.
Breaking point I’m at the breaking point I’m telling strangers how much I miss you I walk around the block It’s the same old block Even the buildings know How much I miss you Whatever I think about The thought of you drowns it out Now all my tears, they keep falling down I pick them up off the ground When you’re not around When you’re not around You’re not around All my tears too many too count I pick them up off the ground When you’re not around When you’re not around You’re not around Nothing works except the water works You left a broken heart here Why didn't you take it with you Now I’m looking down endless streets With lines and lines of lonely people like me I’m not one of them When I’m with you There’s a river of memories That won’t stop rolling over me All my dreams are covered in dust Under the couch I got no reason for getting them out I’m crying too much They’re just gonna rust I wanna keep what’s left of us When you’re not around When you’re not around You’re not around

about

15 years and counting of a unreleased songs and covers I didn't feel were good enough for your ears. Subscribe to my Bandcamp site and they're all yours.

credits

released February 8, 2015

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Julian Velard Los Angeles, California

Julian Velard's musical stylings and comedic timing have made him a fixture in both the comedy and music scenes, and have created cult followings overseas.

He’s toured alongside Jamie Cullum, Paul Carrack, and has shared the stage with comedians Will Ferrell and Paul Scheer.

His ability to transition between worlds has led to regular appearances on The Howard Stern Show and NPR’s Ask Me Another.
... more

shows

contact / help

Contact Julian Velard

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Julian Velard, you may also like: